My friend just got engaged and I wrote to her a list of things she needs as a fiancé and wedding-planning woman, preparing to be a wife. From my four months experience, here is my list:
A (cute) note pad, a Pinterest and Knot account, stationary with return address labels, a ring holder, and champagne.
Then I began to think about what she needs spiritually (or what I need/have needed spiritually).
Grace, truth, patience and contentness, self-control, gentleness, basically every spiritual fruit, (but really.), organization.
I’ve needed grace, mostly for myself. The devil likes to tell me I don’t deserve this because of this, this, and this. So this time for me has been processing through past sin, focusing on what Jesus did on the cross, and running (or slowly walking away, step by step), from shame. So I’ve needed grace for myself through this. Also, truth, to focus on being a new creation! He redeems the past and every corner of my heart.
I still need patience and contentness because my wedding is four months away. Which also comes the self-control. Even with my thoughts. I can’t just daydream and wish for us to be married; we’ve got work to do these next four months, and God is going to use them to prepare us!
Gentleness. Let’s all be gentle. My small group went through 1&2 Peter and we learned about being gentle, quiet spirits and we all thought hmmmmm, I should work on that. Gentle with strangers, our moms, our coworkers, our supervisors, and our wonderful fiancés.
Organization because you’re planning a wedding! Lots of nicely worded emails and to do lists and calendars and it helps if you have a mom/wedding planner! Also, be okay with the slow-moving process, be okay with checking something off the to-do list that you won’t see fulfilled for around six months. Basically learn to be okay living in the intermin and undone.
Engagement. Every one says to enjoy this time. Yes, it is so fun planning my magical boho wedding. I love our marriage prep class each week; the concepts and tips and explanations and reflection questions. I’m also glad it’s a finite season, because bottom line I just want to be married! Yet I know marriage isn’t some easy or simple change. Once married, I could probably come up with many other things that seem unknown and big. The truth is that nothing is to be controlled and secure, and I need to learn to be content in the unknown.
Dear Jesus, I pray for help as we wedding plan for grace and patience and gentleness from you to equip us to plan for our wedding and be encouraging to each other and our vendors and our bridesmaids and moms. Amen.