ecclesiastes 2

 Last night Kali climbed up onto my bed and read me Ecclesiastes 2. First, she had to tell me it’s after proverbs. We liked that it reminded us that being a fool or being wise are very similar unless we are wise in God. We may feel wise in school if we do well, or wise in our decision-making when we decide well. Or we may feel foolish when we forget or let others down. So either way, both are foolish because God isn’t present in either scenario. 

12 Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,
    and also madness and folly.
What more can the king’s successor do
    than what has already been done?
13 I saw that wisdom is better than folly,
    just as light is better than darkness.
14 The wise have eyes in their heads,
    while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize
    that the same fate overtakes them both.

15 Then I said to myself,

“The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
    What then do I gain by being wise?”
I said to myself,
    “This too is meaningless.”
16 For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
    the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!

Our nightly prayer started last year in my studio. A couple nights she would sleep over, and before we went to sleep we would read Shauna Niequist and pray before bed. And then we became roommates and I was reading Proverbs at the kitchen table and she joined me and we decided to do verse-sharing and praying before bed every night (most nights) since. So grateful for turning our crazy, long days over to God each night, asking for help and rest and transformation from our mindsets of do more, do more, that’s not enough, look at her, to more of you are in my image, you are loved, you are known, you are my daughter, I go with you through your days, just look for me. The ladder is the truth I want to listen to. 

 Currently, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude in joy. I am no doubt in a season of celebration–my days have been filled with sun and beach and candles and running and frozen yogurt and prayer and relationships. I am in my final three weeks of classes and I just got my dream-clinical placement for my last clinical.  My Chicago community is encouraging and heart-filling and wonderful. I just got baptized alongside of my mom and friends. I’m studying something that makes my heart explode. I see God in this city and the water and when I hear people pray. I’m in the midst of signing a lease to live in a cozy three-bedroom with Jess and Mon that is going to smell like volcano candles and be a place of rest and grace. Also, I get to go home for two weeks for summer break so that in itself is pure bliss. Celebration and God-praising time. So grateful. I know there are times to reap, sow, dance, mourn, laugh– but everytime is a time to praise. I want to hold onto this praise that is rooted in me, not only circumstantial. 


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