consumed

Remember this picture from my
new journal this summer? That my new life theme was to make room, for God and space and prayer and margin.

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My mom and I were going to do a bible study called Breathe, about making margin in our lives for God. Obviously, I was unable to make room for a book about making breathing room. Makes sense. So, safe to say I don’t feel as if I’ve made room. I’ve squeezed in eight classes, a small group, so much running and studying and paper-writing. Sweet things too, though, I’ve been going through a devotional with a friend in another state, nightly prayers with Kallers alternating who picks scripture, Genesis with Jess, and now Colossians with my small group. But among all this I still feel spread-thin, consumed by school. God is all-consuming, but I’ve chosen to be consumed by classes, expectations, grades, and stress. I didn’t mean to on purpose, but it’s gotten that way. The message at church was about prayer, and about how our productivity gets in the way. Truthfully, this weekend I closed my bible because I felt productiveness in my paper was more important. I said no to celebrating Jenna’s birthday, I said no to a class friendsgiving, and I didn’t even have bible time this weekend. I think all I did was write my paper and complain. Something’s wrong with my thought-process.

This week is make-an-effort week. 10 quiet minutes a day (at least), focusing on connecting with what is important and filling, not my freaking to-do list.

Prayers.

Turn my heart toward your statues and not towards my selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. Psalm 118:36-37

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