Last weekend I got into Petoskey at 10:30 pm and sat in the hotel room with Courtney, Kass, and my mom eating trailmix. We woke up the next morning for breakfast at the pancake house in Bay Harbor (I ran there, on a trail by the water, my favorite), then got ready for my cousins wedding. We may also have popped champagne off our hotel room balcony while getting ready. The wedding was beautiful, and we danced all night long, so much laughing and so many pictures.
And then my mom and I left Petoskey at 7 am to drive 6 hours to Chicago to move apartments. What a busy, nonstop weekend. It was fun and filling, but so draining!
Now this weekend: no plans. No one around for me to hang out with. This was very strange for me. I love people, especially spending time with my favorite people. I love when my favorite people are my running buddies, beach dates, church dates, and dinner dates. I love quality time with my people. I praise God for friendships and closeness that comes from growing together. I believe in encouragement and affirmation and honesty from friends and family, I believe in Christian community with hearts and minds unified by the love of Christ. But I also believe (and sometimes forget the importance of) alone time with God. Special, bold , honest time with the Lord. As Shauna Niequist has said, you need your couch of your Christian community, but you also need your chair, of just you and God.
Part of me felt the idea of a weekend alone and by myself sounded boring and scary, while another part of me felt it sounded freeing, relaxing, and necessary. So I did it — I ran long, caught up on my blog , made a chicken and zucchini quinoa, spent time with God, laid at the beach, and swam in Lake Michigan. I also watched gossip girl and made breakfast cookies. And it goes back to my recent theme of God filling up the spaces, those where we allow room for Him. Friday evening I sat on my neighbors porch swing for an hour with them, just talking. Today I went to morning church and the message was on joy that transcends beyond circumstances. God is trying to teach me this concept! My mom refers to these as God’s little miracles, or those God-moments. Love.
Sometimes it’s almost easier to be busy and blame lack of anything on busyness. But this weekend it was slow and relaxing and I had no excuse of busyness.
I also didn’t just accept my fate of no plans- I texted a classmate, a teammate, and 2 college friends who were close enough to me , but they already has plans. I told my friend Emily about my lonely weekend and she said maybe God is trying to have you be still. He probably is! Just among my challenge to spend more time with Him this week, it was like God could have been saying Okay Morgan, you have no plans, just be with me.. God-shaped holes, praying through them. And I have plans with close friends and my mom the next 2 weekends (which overjoys my heart)!